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Are you bored in bed with your spouse?  Are you still together but have this feeling of not really together?  Well maybe you have problem on how you can rekindle the sexual spark with your husband.  Some couples after years of togetherness, they find themselves seemingly trapped in the everyday routine of life- the intimacy they once shared overtaken by stress, guilt, and resentment.  And yet, for a relationship to last, a couple must focus on what’s really important- themselves.  In the book that I have red, The Good Marriage:  How and Why Love Lasts, authors stated that one of the tasks of marriage is to create a loving sexual relationship.  They write:  A good sex life, however the couple defines that,  is at the heart of a good marriage.  This is the domain where intimacy is renewed and the excitement that first drew the couple together is kept alive.  However, it’ is not just the sexual act that’s important or must be focused on, but the intimacy that comes with it.  A sexual relationship is healthy when it is something that you share only with your spouse.  It is considered the highest form of intimacy with someone you love.

Intimacy means closeness.  It is connection.  It is when you are happy with a person.  It’s when you feel safe and warm and comfortable with a person because of a mutual sharing of thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes couples tend to let other areas of their relationship, such as the social and financial, overwhelm the emotional and sexual to the detriment of intimacy.  There are some factors that can cause the decline of closeness like what we called unfinished business, these are conflicts that are not yet resolved by the couples, they don’t realized it, this pushes them away from each other.  Other times, spouses just take each other for granted, less of communication with each other as they get on with their own lives.  Children may also become obstacle of intimacy.  Sometimes couples become too wrapped up in being parents that they forget about being married to each other.  Parents must remember that the relationship they share with each other is the kind of relationship that their children learn from.  Stress can also be a factor of lack of intimacy.  When a spouse is too worried about work or money, for instance, its hard for him to think about anything else.  There are also women who lose interest in sex and physical contact after having children primarily because of hormonal imbalance and bodily changes.  Betrayal kills intimacy faster.  Sharing a sexual relationship with another other than your spouse may cause the other partner to feel hurt or pushed away.  Intimacy shared with another makes the other partner feel violated and betrayed.

But intimacy in a marriage changes over time.  The intimacy shared does not always have to be sexual in nature.